KNIFE THRU HEAD

	Kenneth Fucking Hoffman has been voted "The Force of Nature Most Likely To Buttfuck Your Face" six years in a row by the Orangevale Chamber of Commerce. He also holds the bantamweight title of "Most Luxurious Beard on an Active North American Strip-Tease Performer." KFH has been at the forefront of Sacramento music for more than a decade - from his no-wave noise-punk guitar workouts for the infamous local heroes ASSPIRATES, and his particularly violent stint as drummer for THE BEERLORDS, to his distinct growlz 'n' screechez for HELLCREW, KELOID, WEREWOLF, and crust/black/punk wunderkinder BURNING OF MAN. Notably, he was also co-owner of Sacramento's only all-metal record store BAPHOMET RECORDS during its brief but resonant existence from 1999-2000. Aside from the River City's showpiece KNIFETHRUHEAD, he also currently "vokillizes" for deathgrind braineaters KURU; manages not only to book and promote near-weekly local metal shows under the black umbrella of BURIED IN HELL PROMOTIONS, but also release equally BR00T4L vinyl and CDs under the BURIED IN HELL RECORDS imprint. He is also co-owner of BEARDED LADY BUTTONS, the area's largest independently-run supplier of one-inch buttons at unheard-of prices (100 for $20!!).
	Mr. Roachclip has quite literally left his various bodily fluids in every conceivable area venue, past and present, to the extent that his essence has unavoidably seeped down into the very foundations of the greater Sacramento area. He was a co-founder and drummer of the legendary teenage performance troupe MR. T AND THE SCREAMING VIKINGS. He was the "triple threat" of the sadly defunct OLD MAN HOMO - mind-bending guitar fireworks, uncompromisingly earthy graphics design, and unpredictable dance violence. He is one-half of the original weed/murder duo CANNABIS CORPUS. His latest venture, SEX WITH ROBOTS, bounces like the robotic ass you never knew you could fantasize about. His record label, WILD HUNTSMAN RECORDS, has steadfastly maintained the same P.O. Box for nearly 20 years.
	Judas may hold many records, not the least of which is his amiable history with members of the fairer sex; but possibly greater is the number of Sacramento-based musical associations he has amassed through the years. He has served as an indispensable component of many diverse and bizarre acts - from the indescribable BLOODY SWORDS, a stint in THE seminal rock/metal crossover phenomenon THE PUMPKIN SEEDS (unfortunately, there is currently no page of any brand dedicated to their exploits... maybe coming soon?) , to the co-founding of the ever-diligent busking warhorse (and hometown namesake) SACRAMENTO. Within KnifeThruHead, Judas recently betrayed his career of bass playing to assume rhythm guitar duties during one of Balls McCartney's pissy departures; now his snarly, snarky, insolent tone has been firmly entrenched in the six-armed retard (with a joint in each hand) that KnifeThruHead has evolved into. Beyond holding records, he also makes them, as CEO of COCK ENERGY RECORDS, which is just as virile as its name implies.
	By day, the lead guitarist for RADIO ORANGEVALE; in the heat of the night, the instrument-borrowing miscreant most deserving of a charity bikini wax! Also boasting a well-defined "six pack" of solo projects, Balls may be the busiest among the already harried beavers. Highlights include faithful renditions of videogame music under the XOC pseudonym; RECREATIONAL EPISIOTOMY, home to both intensely weird metal and disturbing lyrical poetry; and HEMOSTAT, the sort of harsh misanthropic noise that makes you wish you had never heard the phrase "scrotal tearing". Rumors of a future project, a black metal tribute to Nordic flat-pack furniture, are greatly exaggerated. Balls has never laundered any piece in his performance wardrobe. (Further projects can be explored from his own website XOCMUSIC.COM, or from his personal myspace page.)
	My otherwise quiet work as anonymous webmaster for KnifeThruHead's new website is not without the occasional occupational hazard. Most of my attempts to track down the band members for input into the bio page were fruitless. But following a string of unanswered queries directed at the saxophonist MATT ATTAQ (also known as the frontman of THE REVOLUTION), I was awoken suddenly in the early hours of dawn by an unholy cacophony of noise. The curtains were still fluttering, and there was a strange taste left in my mouth. The wall opposite my modest bed had been riddled with bullets, in a pattern that I eventually discovered was a rudimentary form of Braille. Once deciphered, it read: THAT SOUND YOU THINK YOU HEAR OF SOMEONE ON YOUR ROOF IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, THAT'S ME GETTIN' READY TO RAPPEL IN THROUGH YOUR WINDOW AND DROP A BIG SWEATY, HAIRY TEABAG IN YOUR OPEN MOUTH. I AM THE MIDNIGHT SEX ASS-ASS-IN, HIGHLY TRAINED IN THE ANCIENT ARTS OF SODOMY. A MASTER OF THE POO-BONG, THE RUSTY TROMBONE, AND OF COURSE RIP ROARING SAX LICKS THAT WILL MAKE YOUR MOTHER DROP HER PANTIES, LIFT HER SKIRT AND SPREAD HER LIPS WIDE OPEN IN ANTICIPATION OF MY SEED!
	The newest and most mysterious member, 1B92MUR may be the first entity to successfully marry semisynthetic entheogens to radical robotics theory. 1B92MUR curiously claims to be a member of a one-man sextet - they/he/it are/is known by their/his/its scholastic designation, CARTOON OIL. In addition to a comparatively straight-laced role with LSDA (famously described as "The Who on glue"), 1B92MUR appears regularly in comic books, street corners, and various naïf cafés in the downtown Sacramento area. Approach with caution.

Kenneth Fucking Hoffman has been voted "The Force of Nature Most Likely To Buttfuck Your Face" six years in a row by the Orangevale Chamber of Commerce. He also holds the bantamweight title of "Most Luxurious Beard on an Active North American Strip-Tease Performer." KFH has been at the forefront of Sacramento music for more than a decade - from his no-wave noise-punk guitar workouts for the infamous local heroes ASSPIRATES, and his particularly violent stint as drummer for THE BEERLORDS, to his distinct growlz 'n' screechez for HELLCREW, KELOID, WEREWOLF, and crust/black/punk wunderkinder BURNING OF MAN. Notably, he was also co-owner of Sacramento's only all-metal record store BAPHOMET RECORDS during its brief but resonant existence from 1999-2000. Aside from the River City's showpiece KNIFETHRUHEAD, he also currently "vokillizes" for deathgrind braineaters KURU; manages not only to book and promote near-weekly local metal shows under the black umbrella of BURIED IN HELL PROMOTIONS, but also release equally BR00T4L vinyl and CDs under the BURIED IN HELL RECORDS imprint. He is also co-owner of BEARDED LADY BUTTONS, the area's largest independently-run supplier of one-inch buttons at unheard-of prices (100 for $20!!).

Mr. Roachclip has quite literally left his various bodily fluids in every conceivable area venue, past and present, to the extent that his essence has unavoidably seeped down into the very foundations of the greater Sacramento area. He was a co-founder and drummer of the legendary teenage performance troupe MR. T AND THE SCREAMING VIKINGS. He was the "triple threat" of the sadly defunct OLD MAN HOMO - mind-bending guitar fireworks, uncompromisingly earthy graphics design, and unpredictable dance violence. He is one-half of the original weed/murder duo CANNABIS CORPUS. His latest venture, SEX WITH ROBOTS, bounces like the robotic ass you never knew you could fantasize about. His record label, WILD HUNTSMAN RECORDS, has steadfastly maintained the same P.O. Box for nearly 20 years.

Judas may hold many records, not the least of which is his amiable history with members of the fairer sex; but possibly greater is the number of Sacramento-based musical associations he has amassed through the years. He has served as an indispensable component of many diverse and bizarre acts - from the indescribable BLOODY SWORDS, a stint in THE seminal rock/metal crossover phenomenon THE PUMPKIN SEEDS (unfortunately, there is currently no page of any brand dedicated to their exploits... maybe coming soon?) , to the co-founding of the ever-diligent busking warhorse (and hometown namesake) SACRAMENTO. Within KnifeThruHead, Judas recently betrayed his career of bass playing to assume rhythm guitar duties during one of Balls McCartney's pissy departures; now his snarly, snarky, insolent tone has been firmly entrenched in the six-armed retard (with a joint in each hand) that KnifeThruHead has evolved into. Beyond holding records, he also makes them, as CEO of COCK ENERGY RECORDS, which is just as virile as its name implies.

By day, the lead guitarist for RADIO ORANGEVALE; in the heat of the night, the instrument-borrowing miscreant most deserving of a charity bikini wax! Also boasting a well-defined "six pack" of solo projects, Balls may be the busiest among the already harried beavers. Highlights include faithful renditions of videogame music under the XOC pseudonym; RECREATIONAL EPISIOTOMY, home to both intensely weird metal and disturbing lyrical poetry; and HEMOSTAT, the sort of harsh misanthropic noise that makes you wish you had never heard the phrase "scrotal tearing". Rumors of a future project, a black metal tribute to Nordic flat-pack furniture, are greatly exaggerated. Balls has never laundered any piece in his performance wardrobe. (Further projects can be explored from his own website XOCMUSIC.COM, or from his personal myspace page.)

My otherwise quiet work as anonymous webmaster for KnifeThruHead's new website is not without the occasional occupational hazard. Most of my attempts to track down the band members for input into the bio page were fruitless. But following a string of unanswered queries directed at the saxophonist MATT ATTAQ (also known as the frontman of THE REVOLUTION), I was awoken suddenly in the early hours of dawn by an unholy cacophony of noise. The curtains were still fluttering, and there was a strange taste left in my mouth. The wall opposite my modest bed had been riddled with bullets, in a pattern that I eventually discovered was a rudimentary form of Braille. Once deciphered, it read:

THAT SOUND YOU THINK YOU HEAR OF SOMEONE ON YOUR ROOF IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, THAT'S ME GETTIN' READY TO RAPPEL IN THROUGH YOUR WINDOW AND DROP A BIG SWEATY, HAIRY TEABAG IN YOUR OPEN MOUTH. I AM THE MIDNIGHT SEX ASS-ASS-IN, HIGHLY TRAINED IN THE ANCIENT ARTS OF SODOMY. A MASTER OF THE POO-BONG, THE RUSTY TROMBONE, AND OF COURSE RIP ROARING SAX LICKS THAT WILL MAKE YOUR MOTHER DROP HER PANTIES, LIFT HER SKIRT AND SPREAD HER LIPS WIDE OPEN IN ANTICIPATION OF MY SEED!

The newest and most mysterious member, 1B92MUR may be the first entity to successfully marry semisynthetic entheogens to radical robotics theory. 1B92MUR curiously claims to be a member of a one-man sextet - they/he/it are/is known by their/his/its scholastic designation, CARTOON OIL. In addition to a comparatively straight-laced role with LSDA (famously described as "The Who on glue"), 1B92MUR appears regularly in comic books, street corners, and various naïf cafés in the downtown Sacramento area.

Approach with caution.